This video has been doing the rounds in feminist circles recently:
Appearently, consent for sex is as simple as offering someone a cup of tea!
Except it isn’t.
And if you think it is, you haven’t understood the first thing about why there is a debate over this issue.
So, we’re sitting in the livingroom with a pot of tea appearently…
Where is the tea guest who says «Oooh… Never mind me, I don’t want to bother you with brewing a cup«?
Where is the tea guest who says «Man, I really would like some tea… But I know how poor you are, it just feels wrong to take it from you«?
Where is the tea guest who says «That tea looks absolutely delicious… Yum… But I shouldn’t… I should watch my weight…«?
Where is the tea guest who says «I’m kind of nervous about tasting tea actually… It smells really good, but it just always struck me as kind of scary looking«?
Where is the tea guest who says «HEY!!! YO!!! I want a super double espresso mocca latte tibetan chai with hand picked organic goji berries and real gold sprinkled on top. Go, make it for me, will you?» and then proceeds to pour it out carelessly?
Where is the tea guest who is piss drunk, raids your kitchen, and belts down insane amounts of tea?
Where is the tea guest who has a sore throat, and might really appreciate being awoken with a nice cup of hibiscus tea whilst still half asleep?
Where is the tea guest who says «This tea was fiiine… UNTIL YOU MADE THAT HORRIBLE NOISE WITH THE CUTLERY, WITHOUT EVEN ASKING IF IT WAS OK!!!«?
Where is the tea guest who says «What? You served this tea to others as well?! >:| Well… I DIDN’T WANT IT ANYWAY!!! YOU SON OF A BITCH!!! You just keep pouring me cups of tea, every time. I never really asked for them you know!«?
Where is the tea guest who says «Pling plong! Let’s celebrate our un-birthday! I want tea!!!!😀 WOOOAH, A CAT!!! Now I hate you, this was horrible😦«?
Where is the tea guest who just keeps accepting tea, and finishes one cup after another, even though he or she maybe didn’t really feel like it?
Where is the tea guest who says «Hmm… So you’re rich, huh? Yes please, I’d love a cup of tea… YUCK!!! Poison! You tried to poison me!!! I’ll sue you for everything you’ve got!!!«?
Where is the tea guest who spontaneously accepts your offer of a cup of tea, in the must peculiar of circumstances. But who becomes very sceptical later on, when both friends and trusted organisations warn that «Tea should not be given away in such a manner«?
Where is the tea guest who got sick of your fascination for tea, so she tells others that you forced her to drink it, to get payback or «protect» others?
Where is the tea guest who asks you very, very sweetly to pleeeease serve a cup of tea? Just a sip! Even though he or she isn’t allowed by his or her parents to drink caffeinated drinks just yet…
Where is the tea guest who feels like you are forcing tea down everybody’s throat just because the smell of tea is in the air?
I could go on, but do I really need to? You get the point, right? If this was as straightforward as some people think, there wouldn’t be a debate!
Often when I meet feminists in real life, and they find out I’m actually a nice guy, they try to show me a gesture of good faith:
Yeah, I mean, I can understand your view point. I mean… If a guy buys me a drink I do at least owe him a blow job…
This usually throws me off completely.
Wtf? I never said anything like that. But I try to respond intelligently:
Umm… I guess it’s not nice to lead him on if you don’t plan on doing anything, sure.
Obviously, most feminists believe the situation is as simple as this stupid youtube-video about tea. They think I want to force tea down everybody’s throats. Because why else would anyone oppose the idea that all people accused of rape should be convicted, right?
And there are more debates to be taken:
Even if a person DOES force you to drink tea against your will, and it spills and ruins your nice dress… Does this justify ruining the persons life completely? Removing him from his house, friends, family, work, ambitions, development, production, freedom… And placing him in a jail cell to slowly kill away his will to live, for the next 5, 10, 15 years… How much is fair? Is this always fair at all? Is it productive? Does it help, at all, for anything? Or would it be better to have him fix your dress as best he can, have him apologize, take a professional look at why he did what he did, and get this over with somehow?
No, I don’t think feminism is very smart.